Of Candy and Misunderstandings
by firefly81
Summary: A project in charms leads to a big misunderstanding.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Thanks to erbkaiser, my fellow Magpie, for looking this over for me. I would be lost without him!

Written for Round 12 of the Quidditch League FanFiction Competition. Go Magpies!

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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away... wait, that's not right. Once upon a time, long, long ago... hmmm that isn't right either. Let's see. Deep in the dark, thick forest there lived a witch. This witch was unlike the type of witch one thinks of when reading this type of story for she was kind and beautiful. Her cottage, which a bit on the small side, was comfortable and homey. Being a voracious reader, she had many bookcases bursting full with books throughout her cottage. There were pictures of her friends and family everywhere and various knickknacks scattered all over. One of her favorite rooms in the cottage, however, was the kitchen. This would be very surprising to her friends as she was not known for cooking. The kitchen was large and the showcase was a very, very large oven. You might be asking yourself, what is such a lovely witch doing living in the middle of a dark, deep forest? Well, she was doing something that she _wasn't_ very well known for... hiding.

You see, this witch and her friends were war-heroes. As such, this made them very popular and they were hounded everywhere they went. Eventually, she retreated to her cottage and lived as peacefully as she could. And her time at the cottage was peaceful. No one could find her and on the few occasions she ventured out into the nearby Muggle village, she glamoured herself to look like an old woman. The most she got were a few side glances and the children tended to run away from her. Quite a difference experience than when she went out in the Wizarding world. She took pleasure in the anonymity.

Being that she preferred to stay in her cottage, she worked mostly from home. Her profession was in charms research and creating new spells and charms. This is exactly what she was doing one lovely sunny day, not that much sun made its way through the trees. She was working on, in her opinion, some silly charms that turned pieces of her cottage into candy and cakes. It was quite a useless charm for why would anyone want to turn their home into something edible? It also reminded her of a certain story from her childhood that never failed to scare her. She had often thought it before but this recent assignment confirmed her thoughts that her boss was in quite right in the mind.

It was quite hot that day, even in her shaded woods. When she had finished half the cottage, she decided to take a break and go into town as she was got of her favorite tea. She had, a moment ago, finished putting on her old lady glamour when she heard voices coming from the front of the cottage. Thinking that was quite odd, she peered out the window only to be astonished to see two Muggle children approaching the yard. Of course she had Muggle repelling wards around her property so she had no idea how these children could even see her house. Focusing closer on the children, she noticed that they were incredibly disheveled and appeared to be lost. A shout from one of them brought her out of her musings as they realized the house was made out of many different kinds of treats. The children ran up to the cottage, began picking off pieces of candy and cake, and shoveled the food into their hungry mouths. She moved to the front door, so intent on helping the children get home that she had completely forgotten what she looked like.

"Hello there. Are you two lost?"

The children leaped in fright at the sound of her voice for they were not expecting anyone to be home. They both backed up slightly at seeing the owner of said voice.

"Um... yes ma'am. My sister and I have been wandering the woods since early this morning. Our father took us with him to chop some wood, but we got bored and went to play in a stream. When we tried to find our back to him, we got lost."

"This morning? Why, you've been walking the woods all day long! Please, come in. I can get you some water and actual food and then I can show you the way to the village."

The boy eyed her warily as if unsure if they should take her up on her offer. He glanced over at his sister, who looked about ready to drop from exhaustion. He nodded and she motioned for them to follow her into the cottage. She led them straight into the kitchen where she went directly to her freezer to get some ice for their water. She could hear them pulling out the chairs to sit when she was startled by an ear piercing scream. The ice that had been in cups flew everywhere as her body twitched in surprise. She whirled around, only to see the girl standing up and pointing at her oven. Sure, it was abnormally large but it certainly wasn't anything to scream at. Confused, she started to ask what was wrong when she was cut off.

"Witch!" the girl shrieked at her. Now she was really confused. There was no way that these children should have been able to tell that she was a witch. What, exactly, was going on here? She turned her gaze to the girl's brother who was looking between her, his sister, and the oven. She saw when understanding dawned on his face, even if she herself still did not understand. The boy suddenly flung himself in front of his sister.

"I won't let you eat her, you ugly witch!"

She internally groaned, realizing at that moment precisely what was going on here. She looked like an old lady, had a house made of treats, and a very large oven in her kitchen. Apparently the children thought she was going to eat them. As much as she hated using magic on Muggles, especially children, she was going to have to obliviate them. However, before she could go for her wand, the boy pulled his sister and made a mad dash for the door.

"Wait!" she yelled as she was able to grab onto the girl's arm, who promptly bit her.

"Get off my sister!"

"Ouch! I'm bleeding! If you would wait, I can explain!"

Knowing that the children were not going to be stopping for any explanations, she fumbled for her wand and sent two very mild stunners at them. She hated herself for doing it but she couldn't have the whole village for an attempted kidnapping, however false it was. Working quickly, she obliviated both the children, removed her glamours, and told the children how to find their way home. She cast an unnoticeable direction charm – one she invented of course – so that they would not get lost again. As soon as they were gone, she heard a loud "pop". She groaned, out loud this time, knowing precisely who it was.

"Why does Harry always send you? I'm starting to think my best friend hates me."

"Now, now, love, you hurt my feelings. Maybe if you would stop doing stuff that required an Auror's presence... "

"Piss off! This wasn't my fault! Stupid boss with his stupid edible house idea, children, thought I would eat them, biting."

"Granger, you are rambling. Stop that or I'm going to have to take you in."

"What?!"

"Hey, hate the sin, love the sinner. Or don't shoot the messenger. Pick your expression, love."

She sighed, knowing she was going to have to explain to him exactly why she used magic on Muggles. He had an infuriating smirk on his face about half way through her story; by the time she was done he was full out laughing. She said nothing as she glared at him.

"So I have it correct for my report, you had to stun and then obliviate Muggles because they thought you were some witch from a fairytale and you were going to eat them?" he asked, barely able to keep a straight face.

"Yes, that's correct. I hate you," she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Aww don't be like that. You know you love me."

"Maybe, once. Not anymore, you book ruining prat. And now you are making fun of me!"

"Come on, don't be like that, it was only a book."

"Only a book? Only a book! It was a first edition of _Grimm's Fairy Tales_ for Godric's sake!"

"I said I was sorry. It's not like I spilled my tea on it on purpose. What would you say if I told you I found a replacement? First edition and everything. I even read the story the kids thought you were from."

"You found another first edition of _Grimm's Fairy Tales_ and read part of it?"

"I did and I'm thinking maybe we should get a smaller oven. I wouldn't want the next kids that happen across this place to try to stuff you in it."

She laughed as she flung herself at him, thanking him for the book. The very next day, all charms that made her cottage edible were removed, and she had a brand new, albeit smaller oven.

And she lived happily ever after.

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Chaser 1 prompt: Hansel and Gretel

Other prompts:

(4) bleeding

(9) no letter "j"

(13) "Hate the sin, love the sinner."


End file.
